


One Night In Gotham

by TheSwingbyJeanHonoreFragonard



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Canon-Typical Violence, DC universe - Freeform, Drama, Felix is Poison Ivy, Hyunjin is Catwoman, Jisung is Robin if you squint, M/M, Minho is The Joker, Seungmin Is Harley Quinn, Suggestive Themes, Supervillains, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 10:15:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17620562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSwingbyJeanHonoreFragonard/pseuds/TheSwingbyJeanHonoreFragonard
Summary: Gotham gets pretty wild after sundown.





	1. Toxin

1! 2! 3! 4!

 

The band on stage launched into an aggressive, rowdy punk song. Four girls. All of em with vibrant, multi-colored hair, plaid skirts, ripped up stockings and pale lipstick that glowed ghastly (and wonderful) beneath the black lights.

 

The singer danced from one end of the stage to the other, her voice holdin’ steady over lyrics about fried chicken and anarchy. The guitars made the club’s walls rattle and the bass drum thudded ‘round the pierced and tattooed crowd like a giant’s heartbeat.

 

In a place like this, ya couldn’t stand out. No matter how thick the face paint or how bright the hair dye or how heavily padded the criminal record.

 

Everyone here was a freak. Which meant that no one was.

 

“Who are they again, puddin’?” Seungmin breathed into the ear of the man with seafoam-green hair beside him. Or rather, he knew the man’s hair was supposed to be green but beneath the stage lights it looked lavender. Or something. “What’s the band’s name?”

 

“Your Wildest Dreams,” the man replied with a chuckle, pressing close so that their sweat mingled on each other’s skin, so that the vibrations of the music thrummed from one to the other like electricity.

 

Seungmin looked at him, met his eye. He could feel the man’s lungs expand as he inhaled. That’s how close they were standing. Minho. His puddin’. He was irreplaceable. No one in the whole wide world would ever come close. That was a thought that went through Seungmin’s mind at least eleventy-billion times a day. Whether he was payin’ attention or not.

 

Minho swept his green hair behind his ear with a purple-painted fingernail. He grinned a shark’s grin, teeth standing out from the middle of the red red red of the joker smile he’d smeared across his face.

 

Heat swept up Seungmin’s body. He liked it when they got this close. He liked it when he could feel Minho on his skin. When he could smell Minho. When all it would take is to lean forward and they’d be kissin’, fingers tanglin’ in hair. He liked it when they got this close even though he knew his puddin’ wouldn’t like it if they got closer than this.

 

His puddin’ liked to have _space_ between them.

 

Even after all of these years.

 

The tension sizzled in the air between them. Between the Joker and his Harls. For a moment, the crowd was gone, the band was gone, the venue was gone. It was just the two of them staring at each other. They were the only two people in the world in Seungmin’s head… and then some large, heavily-muscled man from the mosh pit nearly bowled them over as he danced. They were separated. The moment passed. The real world came rushing back.

 

Like waking up from a dream, the clouds in Seungmin’s head parted and he took in his surroundings. The crowd was wild around them. Mohawks and face tattoos and pierced ears, wide open mouths like rabid dogs. Everyone was moving. Jumping. Arms swinging.

 

The mania of it all made Seungmin feel at home. He raised his left hand to his hair, where it was blue. He raised his right hand to his hair, where it was pink. His hair would be long enough for pigtails soon. He swore.

 

On stage, the girls rocked out, bulldozing their way from one hard song to the next, forcing the crowd to keep up with their breathless pace. This song was about refried beans and anarchy. It made him feel giddy and energetic.

 

Seungmin laid his head on his puddin’s shoulder. His J. “I think I love Your Wildest Dreams.”

 

“I was waiting for you to say that, Harls. You know what I do to everything you love, right?” His J put his hand down the front of his purple pinstripe pants and pulled out a small, gray mechanical device. A switch with a big red button like something out of a comic book. This only meant one thing.

 

Seungmin hesitated for only a moment before he smiled at the sight of it. Now the fireworks could start! He said, “It’ll be super fun, puddin’!”

 

Mr. J laughed and laughed, the sound hardly audible over the joyous screaming and raucous music around them. He pressed the switch.

 

Bright white light. A sudden wave of heat. A thunderous _BOOM!_ Half the crowd was thrown off their feet. Screams of joy turned into screams of terror in an instant.

 

The explosion ripped a hole in the stage, sending wires and splintered wood, sparks and a dismembered arm into the air.

 

Smoke billowed out. The music came to an abrupt halt. Or maybe that was just Harls going temporarily deaf from the sound. Then, softly, from far away even though his puddin’ stood right next to him, he heard his Joker’s laughter.

 

Oh, and maybe his own. Absolutely delighted. High on life.

 

The stage lights flickered off and then on and then off again, swampin’ them in darkness thicker than nightmares. Harls blinked, barely able to catch a difference between his eyes bein’ open and his eyes bein’ closed.

 

He blinked again.

 

Now the two of them were flyin’ down one of Gotham’s main drags in a souped-up sports car, custom-painted green green green. They were downtown where the buildings were all tall and blocky, their lit-up windows reachin’ up to the black night sky.

 

The car’s engine revved high as the Joker gunned it. “They’re gaining on us, Harls!” He warned, his hands tight on the wheel, whipping them around oncoming traffic and sailing right on through red lights. Horns honked angrily all around them. Tires screeched. Trucks swerved.

 

“Let ‘em come!” Seungmin put down the passenger window, letting in a humid, late-summer wind. His hair went flying. “I’ll use ‘em all as target practice!” He leaned out of the window much like a dog, enjoyin’ the breeze on his face, findin’ a wicked moment of joy and tranquility even as the GCPD fired at his head. A bullet zipped past his ear close enough to sting. The side mirror flew forward and then whipped backwards, banging against the passenger door repeatedly as it hung by nothing but a few wires.

 

Seungmin pulled a pistol free from the waistband of his shorts and leaned even further out of the window, his head coming dangerously close to an eighteen-wheeler they were swerving around.

 

“Pipe down back there!” He shouted at the red and blue flashing lights, at the _pop pop pop_ of gun fire. “We were having a _moment_!” He aimed and fired his pistol. The front tire of one of the squad cars popped and the vehicle swerved hard to the left amidst a shower of sparks, running off the road and colliding with a street light.

 

Another cop car gunned forward to take its place. Harls took another shot, missing the tire but hitting the headlight. He fired once more, no longer trying to aim, and the light on top of the car exploded in a shower of light and color. The car slowed, forced to turn hard to the right to avoid a head-on collision with a bus.

 

Harls sank back onto the seat and looked over at his Joker. “You think _he’ll_ come, puddin’?”

 

“Only if we make enough noise.”

 

The back windshield shattered but didn’t break, making it impossible to see out the rear view mirror. Like it was nothing but a knock at the door, Seungmin sang out, “I’ll get it!” He wedged himself between the driver and passenger seats until he’d crawled close enough to the back of the car to put his feet against the useless windshield. With a great heave, he sent the whole sheet of glass flyin’ up into the air. It landed in the street behind them with an awful sound. The squad car behind them ran over it and immediately had its tires ruined. It spun out in the middle of the street with a great and terrible noise and a cloud of smoke.

 

“Keep them off of us until _he_ shows,” the Joker commanded.

 

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

 

Harls crawled out of the empty hole where the back windshield used to be, adrenaline pumpin’ through his veins as the car rocked beneath him, threatenin’ to send him through the air to the asphalt much like the windshield ten seconds before.

 

Another squad car was chargin’ up behind them. Officers hung out the window, guns firing. The brake light of Joker’s green car exploded. Harls aimed his gun. Shot once. Twice. Three times. Finally, the windshield of the squad car gaining on them cracked. An officer shot back at him. The bullet zinged off the car’s spoiler, a mere hair’s width from Seungmin’s stomach.

 

He had abs now. He’d been working out.

 

“I’ve always wanted a belly button ring,” Harls laughed. He pulled the trigger on the pistol again. _Click. Click._ Out of ammo. Harls discarded the spent gun, tossin’ it into the air. By some chaotic luck, it was the impact of the gun that caused the squad car’s windshield to collapse. The glass fell inward on the cops inside and Seungmin could hear their panicked screams over the proud roar of Joker’s car engine as he redlined it.

 

No. Wait. That wasn’t the sports car’s roar.

 

“Puddin’!” Harls shouted into the car just as a matte-black car, almost a tank, swerved into the intersection behind them. It was a monstrous machine so tacky that only one person would ever dare sit behind its wheel. “It’s Batsy!”

 

“Finally,” the Joker laughed. “I’ve been waiting all night, Harls!”

 

“Me too.”

 

Minho turned hard to the left to take a side street. Gravity gripped Harls by his thighs and pulled him entirely out of the back windshield. He shrieked. “Joker,” he called out. It was far too late. He floated above the asphalt in a moment of weightlessness and then…

 

...he was crawling through the ductwork of a bank, mid-heist.

 

There was distant gunfire as more of the Joker’s hired guns engaged with the bank’s security.

 

An alarm was going off. _Two_ alarms. It was actually getting kind of annoying and disrupting the song Seungmin had stuck in his head.

 

Joker’s voice came over the walkie-talkie in Seungmin’s hand. “It should be the vent coming up on your left.”

 

“I can smell the diamonds from here,” Harls responded, licking his lips and tasting the strawberry of his lip gloss. He turned down the duct to his left and saw the vent, horizontal bars of light piercing the darkness of the duct.

 

“We’re stealing gold bars, you bumbling ditz. The jewelry store was last month.”

 

“I get my days mixed up.” Harls propped his foot against the vent opening, used a little bit of pressure to gauge the give of the metal, then reared back for as solid of a kick as he could give it in the cramped air duct. The vent gave way, the screws holdin’ it on popping off. The vent landed with a wicked crash on the other side of the room, gaining the attention of nearby guards. Harls could see their flashlight beams swing left and right from the next room, could hear them shouting to each other, screaming for backup. Into the walkie-talkie, Seungmin said, “See you at the vault, puddin’. I’ll clear out all the dumb-dumbs so that you can just walk in with no worries.” He slid the gas mask down over his face before tossing the canisters Joker had given him.

 

The cans hit the floor tiles several feet below and began pouring green smoke into the air. The guards were already shouting in fright but now wasn’t the time for Seungmin to revel in their cries of confusion.

 

Harls jumped down from the duct, landing right on top of a man. They both went tumbling to the floor but only Harls stood back up, the side of the man’s head severely dented beneath his boot. Some of the guards were coughing and wheezing, the Joker’s gas seizing their lungs. Several other guards, however, were still approaching Harls, hands over their mouths, guns pointed at his head.

 

“Put those things away, boys.” Seungmin’s voice was distorted by the gas mask. “At least take me to dinner first.” The green smoke around them thickened. He became little more than a shadow.

 

One guard lunged for him, faster than Harls expected. The armored man grabbed Seungmin’s gas mask and ripped it from over his face. Harls breathed in one good time and that’s all it took to start feelin’ an icy tingle in his chest.

 

Oh no.

 

“My poor, sweet, stupid dumpling.” Only then did Harls start to question the reality of the events happening to him. Only then did he wonder if all of this was a dream. As if in response to his realization, the guard in front of him took off his helmet. It was no guard. It was his Joker, his red lipstick smeared across her cheeks into a mile-wide smile.

 

“Oh, puddin’!” Harls cried out. Now his chest was tingling for a different reason. Love fluttered in his stomach. He felt lightheaded and dizzy. He was so happy he could die! “I told you I had a handle on things. You can just sit pretty in the car.”

 

“How often can I count on you to do a good job,” Joker said nastily.

 

“Oh puddin’, I-” But Harls’s voice was suddenly robbed from him as the gas thickened his throat and made it impossible to breathe. He clutched at his neck, his eyes red from the strain. The whole time, the Joker watched without the least bit of concern in his eyes as Harls collapsed to the floor, gaspin’, chokin’.

 

“Now wake up.”

 

Wake up? What an odd command.

 

“ _Wake up!_ ”

 

Harls sprang awake and opened his eyes only to immediately squint against the brightness of a street lamp overhead. “Mr. J?”

 

“Sorry to disappoint you, peanut.”

 

Seungmin recognized the voice. Felix. His only friend in the world. “Ivy,” Harls groaned. “Where am I?”

 

Felix sighed, more used to this than he wanted to be. “Flat on your back outside a bar… which is where I’m assumin’ you spent most of the night.”

 

“I’ve fallen to a new low.”

 

“You reek of alcohol.”

 

“Am I at least in the gutter?”

 

“I can roll you over.”

 

“Please do, my plucky little poinsettia.”

 

Felix squatted down next to him, his coppery orange hair in wildflower curls. The mint green hoodie he wore was caked with dirt at the elbows and was half unzipped, revealing a slash of his thin chest. “What am I gonna do with you?” He pushed Harls by the shoulder, rolling him to his stomach then to his back and then to his stomach, until Harls fell off of the sidewalk and was laying beside the curb, his multicolored hair hanging over a storm drain. “Are you going to tell me why you’re here, Harls? We had plans for tonight.”

 

“Ivy, my beautiful little blossom boy, I didn’t mean to stand you up.”

 

“Well, what did you mean to do?”

 

Seungmin didn’t immediately answer. And then, “I can’t stop thinking about him.” Harls ran a hand through his hair, the pink and blue dye at the tips faded to the shade of cotton candy. “I had another great dream about Mr. J. It was just like old times. Just like... before.”

 

“But Mr. J isn’t here anymore,” Felix said. “Batsy put him away.”

 

“He’ll get out,” Seungmin huffed, tearing up a little. “He always comes back for me. He can’t live without me. Right?”

 

Felix frowned. “Harls.” They’d had this discussion countless times before so he figured now wouldn’t be the time or the place to have it again so he switched topics. “We were supposed to go shopping.”

 

Seungmin’s mood changed. Retail therapy cured everything! “We still can.”

 

“It’s midnight. Everything’s closed.”

 

Harls got to his feet, stretching his arms high above his head. “Like that’s gonna stop me. I’ll buy you anything you want, tulip toes.”

 

Ivy rolled his eyes. “Your shorts are so short that I can see the bottom of your ass.”

 

“ _Only_ the bottom?” Harls grabbed the distressed hem of his denim shorts and yanked the material up, exposing more of the pale, round globe of his right butt cheek. “Better?”

 

“Just don’t rip those. It looks like you’re not wearing underwear.”

 

“I’m thinking of getting a tattoo. Maybe a piercing. _Riiiiight_ here.” He pointed to a spot on his body that the shorts barely covered. “I also wanna grow my hair out,” he added. “I want pigtails.”

 

They started down the sidewalk, Gotham City stretchin’ up and up over their heads in dismal black and gray smears against the smoggy sky.

 

Harls skipped down the sidewalk, boots _th-thump th-thumping_ over the pavement, hips revolvin’ with an unnecessary amount of swivel, cotton candy hair bouncin’ and bouncin’. Ivy followed behind at a more casual pace, hands stuffed in the front pouch of his hoodie, eyes darting around to keep Harls in sight between the numerous shadows of the city.

 

There was something about Harls that Ivy enjoyed. Probably more than he should, all things considered.

 

There was just something there. Something primal and chaotic like a star about to explode.

 

Ivy could hardly remember how they met, that’s how natural their friendship seemed. It was definitely easier to categorize his life into Before Harls and After Harls segments because things got so blurry that he couldn’t be sure if they’d ever _not_ been friends. “I worry about you, peanut,” said Ivy, more to himself than to Harls, but the blonde boy heard him anyways.

 

“Oh, no need to worry. I’m fine! I’m fine!” Seungmin spun around in a circle, the studs on his denim jacket looking like animal fangs under the yellow street lamps. “See? Bein’ hungover isn't too different from how helter skelter things usually are so I’m fine.” He spun again as if to demonstrate that he wasn’t so physically impaired. “As long as I know my Joker’s out there, I’ll be fine. As long as I know that he could bust outta jail and come looking for me while I’m looking for him, I’ll be fine.”

 

 _But he might not want to look for you,_ Ivy wanted to add. Instead, he said, “Such confidence.”

 

“I don’t even think death could keep the two of us apart,” Harls sang into the night air.

 

He was always so happy. Ivy was a bit envious. “How can you stay so devoted?”

 

“It’s just what I do,” said Harls. “Treasurin’ someone. Believing that they’ll never give up on you. Isn’t that what you do when you’re in love?” Harls started laughin’, as if the whole thing were so simple that it was funny. “Isn’t that the least you can do when the best man in the whole wide world asks you to devote your life to him?”

 

“ _Is_ that real love?” Ivy wanted to know. “Really?”

 

Either Harls ignored him or didn’t hear him over his own high-pitched excitement. “You could use a clean jacket, my darling daisy. Why does yours look like you just got finished gardening?”

 

Felix frowned. He had.

 

“Look at that one! It’s even in your color.” Seungmin stopped walking and tapped a finger on the large glass display window of a clothing store, pointing to a denim jacket similar to his own. The graffiti-like patterns and buttons and studs came in a variety of neon-punk colors, predominantly orange and green. “You want it?”

 

“It’s cute, I guess,” said Felix. He used his fingers to comb through his orange hair. When he pulled his hand free, he had a fist full of flower petals. He held his hand up in the air and let the wind scatter the petals into the air. “Is it made of recyclable materials?”

 

“Of course,” Seungmin lied. He put one of his booted feet against the glass, leanin’ his chest to his propped up knee as if gettin’ a good stretch in.

 

“You know me so well, peanut,” said Ivy, grinning despite himself. He knew the jacket wasn’t sustainable at all. He also knew what Harls was about to do. Either because they’d been friends for so long or because he would have done the same thing if he’d spotted the jacket first. Oh, the thrill of the moment stirred his heart! On the days without Seungmin in them, he was a flower turning his leaves towards sunlight that wasn’t bright enough to sustain him, but when Seungmin _was_ a part of his day, Felix just wanted to run and scream at the top of his lungs, suck in hurt and breathe out happiness.

 

Harls. Harls. Harls!

 

“Wouldja look at that?” The blonde boy exclaimed. “It also seems to be on sale for free.99! What a _bargain_!” Harls stepped back to the curb, took a running start and drop-kicked the glass. It shattered shockingly easily, like some poor fool’s two front teeth. The glass exploded inward and skittered across the store’s hardwood floors and Harls let out an excited scream as he picked himself up off the floor.

 

“You can’t beat those prices. Especially in today’s economy.” Ivy pulled his dirty hoodie up over his head, balled it up with his hands and chucked it into a nearby trashcan while Harls wrestled the jacket off of the mannequin’s immobile shoulders.

 

Rather delayed, an alarm inside the store began to blare, shrill and nerve-grating.

 

Harls swung the jacket in circles over his head, whooping in excitement, then he climbed out of the display window and ran up to Ivy.

 

“Thank you for going shopping with me, peanut,” Ivy said as Harls helped him into the jacket.

 

“No problem, puddin’!” Harls said, leaning in closer than necessary. They were chest to chest, nose to nose and now they were mouth to mouth. A kiss as light as flower petals. The salt of Seungmin’s sweat tasted like sugar on Felix’s tongue. This was everything he’d ever wanted.

 

But then he came to his senses. This was all that he wanted but… not like this. Against Harls’ mouth, Ivy quietly asked, “What did you just call me?”

 

Sirens wailed in the distance. The GCPD was moving in fast. They had seconds. If that.

 

Only then did Harls seem to realize what they were doing, as if he’d been daydreamin’ and had now come hurtlin’ back to reality. His eyes went wide. He stepped back, separatin’ their mouths and pullin’ his hips free of Ivy’s white-knuckled grasp. “I thought you were…” he said softly, then he regained his composure. “Silly bunny, I called you my precious peony. My valiant violet. My lollygaggin’ lily. Now come on, hon, we have to _jet_!”

 

Then he was grabbing Ivy by the wrist and yanking him across the street towards an alley, away from the flashing red and blue lights, laughing maniacally all the while.


	2. Cat's Eye

The art museum had closed to the public just over two hours ago but only now had the last of the researchers, curators and museum staff come out the large double doors and made their way to the bottom of the stone steps out front.

 

Hyunjin watched them chat and laugh with each other, make weekend plans and scurry across the street to the employee parking lot. He ducked farther into the shadows whenever one of the employees came too close but he had been doing this for too long. He could completely vanish standing in the middle of a crowd if he wanted to. It was all about the way you stood.

 

One by one, the employee’s cars took off into the night until, finally, there was only quiet and stillness left.

 

He had been counting the seconds in his head. Only about 10 minutes left before the cleaning service was due to arrive.

 

Plenty of time.

 

As casual as a cat, Hyunjin watched the building from the other side of the street for a few moments more, practically invisible in the darkness between street lights in his all-black leather one piece. He'd been casing the museum for a week. That’s about as long as he needed to have the guard schedules and the security camera locations memorized. It was stupidly simple for a place so big. He’d robbed strip mall stores with more advanced security measures.

 

Then again, leave it to the city of Gotham to skimp out on alarm systems when Batman was always a call away.

 

Hyunjin reached into his back pocket and barely managed to pull his phone out of his skin-tight leather pants. He unlocked it and double-checked the image that popped up on the screen. To anyone else, it was just an innocent map of the museum interior but, to him, it was his point of his entry, his path to the Gems From Around The World exhibit, the location of his target and at least three escape routes.

 

It would be a piece of cake. He could do this in his sleep.

 

Hyunjin had stolen from places twenty stories off the ground, places with heavily armed guards, with fewer windows and doors and narrow hallways that were easier to barricade. This would be an easy heist, Hyunjin told himself.

 

Then again, he wasn't after the shiny trinkets inside. Not really. Well, he was but not really. The prizes were just secondary. He wanted something else.

 

He had a harder time squeezing his phone back into his pocket. Sure, the pants were _extremely_ snug in places and the leather pulled restrictively taut across his biceps whenever he bent his elbows but the one-piece was a _look_ and he refused to go through life looking anything less than his best.

 

You never know who you might run into.

 

Hyunjin took a step forward but then paused.

 

A scrawny black cat had wandered up to him and was now rubbing herself against his ankle, purring. Hyunjin stooped down to pet her and her wild green eyes caught the glow of the street light nearby. Cats always seemed to gravitate towards him. He didn’t know why. It’s not like he had a secret stash of catnip in his pockets or anything. Maybe they just thought he was one of them? He was always told he had a feline smile. “You gonna watch my back while I'm in there, girl,” he whispered to the cat.

 

The feline inclined her head and meowed. Maybe she actually understood him.

 

“Good girl,” he said, standing up.

 

Obediently, the cat darted into the shadows of the alleyway behind him.

 

Hyunjin checked the street for traffic and then crossed to the museum. He made sure to walk at an angle that would keep him off the camera feeds. An easy climb over a chain link fence had him behind a sign that said “restricted access.”

 

Now the fun began.

 

Hyunjin popped his knuckles and shook out his neck, getting himself warmed up. It was always best to stretch before vigorous activity, after all. He got down on his hands and knees, squeezing his tall but lithe form behind cardboard boxes and a parked work van in order to avoid the cameras.

 

It was almost like a game to him. He was a child again, sneaking back into the house at ass o’clock in the morning after a night of partying, successfully avoiding getting caught by his mothers.

 

He came up on another chain link fence. Taller than the other one. He climbed up it effortlessly, flipped over the top of it and landed on the other side as quietly as he could in his thick-soled boots.

 

Farther into the alley, Hyunjin pressed himself against the museum building to keep out of sight of the camera posted up by one of the delivery bays.

 

This wasn’t the first time he’d done this. He’d walked up this alley before, checking camera angles and testing doors and windows. Hyunjin had let himself get caught by one of the museum staff and charmed his way out of getting reported, claiming he’d been looking for a bathroom, wandered out the wrong door and now found himself trapped in the back alley. The employee hadn’t even been suspicious of him. All he had to do was flash a smile and do the Cute Boy Hair Flick once or twice and she practically melted in front of him.

 

That’s how he found out the door code.

 

Everyone had the wrong idea about stealing. The general consensus was that you walked in the front door at sundown and used brute force to make your way to the goods. That was the quickest way to wind up on the front page of the newspaper. That was the easiest way to wind up with a GCPD bullet between your eyes. Anyone could do that. Raw strength took no guts. If you were careful, if you planned ahead, if you didn’t make a single mistake, you could slide in, score big and slide out without a single alarm going off. Without a single word about you on the news blogs.

 

Then you could go back home, head to your day job in the morning, and absolutely no one would know the shit you pulled last night.

 

Hyunjin brought his whole body to a halt when a pair of flashlights shone through the dark around the far corner.

 

“You sure it was this side,” one guard asked, swinging his light within inches of Hyunjin’s hiding place between two wooden crates. Hyunjin reached into his other back pocket and freed a pair of matching leather gloves. Designer. He slid them on and flexed his fingers, admiring the sheen of the expensive leather as if he _weren’t_ seconds from getting caught.

 

The second guard said, “I'm sure. The motion sensors picked up something on this end.”

 

That got Hyunjin’s attention.

 

The first guard said, “They don't have too many places to hide out here. We'll find them.”

 

Hyunjin bit his bottom lip, the tiniest hint of anxious adrenaline bubbling in his veins. He’d considered cameras and guard patrols but he hadn't accounted for the possibility of motion sensors! He wondered if his somersault over the top of the fence set them off. He could be such a show-off sometimes.

 

Ivy had always said his pride would be his downfall but Ivy didn't know anything.

 

“It was around here,” the first guard said. “It was zone six that picked it up.” The guards were both standing almost on top of Hyunjin. The boy could reach out and grab one man's pants leg, that’s how close they were standing to him. Honestly, all they had to do was look down to see him wedged in between the crates.

 

Then, nearby, a cardboard box toppled over.

 

Hyunjin swung his head to the left just in time to catch the question mark curl of a black cat’s tail. He smiled.

 

“Who's there?”

 

The guards ran forward, farther down the alley and away from his hiding spot.

 

There was another crash of boxes and the men shouted, “Show yourself!”

 

Hyunjin stood up and ran in the direction they had come.

 

There was a loud animal screech in the alley behind him. Hyunjin clearly heard one of the guards growl, “It's just a cat, dammit.”

 

Their embarrassed laughter followed him around the corner.

 

“It's just a cat,” Hyunjin repeated to himself, grinning. He unzipped his onepiece, reached inside and pulled out a black, leather mask. As he walked, he slipped it over his head. The material covered the top half of his face, only exposing his angled eyes, his sharp nose and his plump mouth.

 

The cat ears on top completed the look. A little overboard, maybe, but Hyunjin never half-assed his fashion.

 

Behind the museum was the humming air conditioning units, a hissing network of pipes and ductwork and the narrow, metal door the guards had come out of earlier. They had propped it open with a cardboard shipping tube before heading out to investigate the motion sensor.

 

“Would you look at that,” Hyunjin tsked, shaking his head. He wouldn’t need the door code after all. “An obvious violation of procedure. What would happen if, say, a stray gust of wind knocked this shipping tube over and the door locked shut?”

 

The stray gust of wind being a kick to the tube with his booted foot. He grabbed the door handle before it shut.

 

“And what if that same stray gust of wind knocked a few of these wires loose and made the door lock malfunction?”

 

A quick elbow to the door lock knocked the panel loose and made the screen go black.

 

“Wind can be so dangerous these days,” Hyunjin muttered. “I mean, this could happen to anyone, right?”

 

No one would blame the guards if they had to walk all the way around the building and have to be let in through the front, right? It was a _stray gust of wind_ that locked them out, after all.

 

Hyunjin stepped inside the museum and pulled the door shut behind him. Slowly slowly slowly, his eyes adjusted to the dim light of after hours. Just like the map on his phone showed, he was in a hallway between exhibits. The bathrooms were to his left. The European Renaissance exhibit was directly ahead of him, the Japanese silk prints in a room to his right.

 

Hyunjin zipped up his leather onepiece to his neck and runway walked down the hallway to the left.

 

He was no longer Hyunjin but Catz, the greatest cat burglar Gotham City could never catch.

 

His boots were as quiet as cat’s paws on the parquet floor. In the dark of the halls, he could see the flashlight beams of approaching guards long before their beams of light reached him. Just crouching behind display cases was enough to keep their eyes off him.

 

Wow, they needed to step their game up.

 

Did none of them think to check around corners or nudge aside curtains? As he got deeper into the museum, his hiding places got comically simpler until he was legitimately just standing behind light fixtures.

 

“All of you deserve to be fired,” he said aloud. The guard that had just walked past him couldn’t even hear him because she had on headphones and was blaring Korean hip-hop through them loud enough for Hyunjin to hear it and hum along.

 

It was easy to listen in on the guards’ conversations. Thinking they were alone in here, they spoke loudly and freely. They mainly talked about their spouses or their second jobs. Boring and mundane things.

 

Hyunjin came across a far more interesting pair of guards standing outside of the Art of the American West exhibit. They whispered about recent crimes that had made the news: a bank heist three months ago (Harls had called him mid-operation, gunshots and police sirens and manic laughter coming from the other end of the line), at least eight species of rare, poisonous plants stolen from a research facility the other week (more than likely Ivy’s doing, although the red-haired boy was too chickenshit to own up to it) and a well-to-do corporate head having his safe robbed while he slept just four feet away (which may or may not have been Catz’s doing but who was he to toot his own horn?)

 

Hyunjin waited for the guards to resume their patrols.

 

“Nothing like that will ever happen here, right,” one of them asked.

 

“Nah,” the other guard said. “This place is kind of boring. I’ve been here ten months and there hasn’t been a single break-in.”

 

“That’s what you think,” Hyunjin whispered as he watched them cut around the corner and vanish out of sight.

 

It was easy to say that he and his boys got around. Harls. Ivy. That alien boy Jeongin. Wait… What did he want to be called? Blackfire? Well, they made Gotham more fun. Without them, Gotham was just a dead college party.

 

Without them, there’d be no need for Batman.

 

Hyunjin paused in his strutting to admire his reflection in the glossy surface of some modern piece of wall art. He turned around and ran a hand over his ass. He could start doing squats more regularly but the tight leather still worked wonders on him. He turned a bit more and admired himself from another angle. Did he always look _this hot_ with the mask on? The black leather contrasted with his pale skin and his pink, pillowy lips could _definitely_ use a swipe or two of one of Harls’ tubes of lip gloss. Something dark. Blue or purple. He’d have to borrow some.

 

His vanity was interrupted as he heard approaching security guards. He looked himself up and down one last time and then continued on his way.

 

Somewhere in the building, towards the entrance, if his knowledge of the layout was right, he heard one of those huge floor polishers start up.

 

The cleaning crew.

 

Ugh, he had planned to be in and out before they came in with all of their irritating noise. He blamed his reflection on making him lose precious time. He couldn’t help that he looked this good!

 

At last, Hyunjin made it to the far side of the building where the Gems From Around The World exhibit was.

 

His eyes roamed over the display cases. He knew the exact location of the jewel that he was here for but what was wrong with a little window shopping.

 

“Which one is the shiniest?” Hyunjin asked the empty air. That necklace over there? Or that ring on the far edge?

 

He took his sweet time deciding, reminding himself that the jewels weren’t what he was after.

 

He'd given them enough time to show up. They should be here any second.

 

Hyunjin slinked towards one of the glass display boxes and stared at the brooch inside. Thin, silver metal work that looked as delicate as flower petals was wrapped around two topaz stones. They were a fiery orange with flecks of deep green and brown in their depths. Like cat eyes.

 

They were beautiful.

 

He wanted them.

 

Just as he was reaching a hand out towards the glass box, a low voice said, “Bad kitty.”

 

Right on time. It almost gave Hyunjin chills of delight how _predictable_ they were. “And what are you gonna do to punish this bad kitty?”

 

From the balcony above the exhibit, a cloaked figure descended through the air with the use of a grappling hook and landed on the floor behind him. Hyunjin slowly turned around, his hands raised in mock-surrender. This was so exciting! Then he realized who it was and dropped his hands, disappointed. “Oh, it's _you_.”

 

“Don't even think about it, Catz.” The masked man in front of him was skinny but athletically built, his outfit was made of red and black leather and he wore a yellow cape over his shoulders like he was trying to be a superhero or something.

 

Hyunjin laughed at the sight of him. “You need to go back to the nest, little bird. You might get hurt in this neck of the woods.” He pointed a threatening finger.

 

Robin, or whatever he called himself, fiddled with the contraption on his forearm and the line of rope he'd swept down on retracted back into the device with a quiet hiss. “Steal that brooch and you'll go right behind bars.”

 

“You can't cage me like any old house cat,” Hyunjin purred. He tightened his hand into a fist, preparing to swing.

 

Robin saw him do it and fired his grappling hook. Rope circled around Hyunjin’s wrist and prevented him from swinging his arm back and shattering the glass of the display case. “Bad kitty.”

 

“You've already used that,” Hyunjin scoffed. “Go home and come up with more cat-related phrases. I'll wait. I have the time.”

 

“The cat will get your tongue,” Robin attempted, pulling a bit on the rope.

 

Hyunjin stumbled forward a step. “You must be new at this.” Then he squinted into the darkness of the exhibit. “Wait, you _are_ new. There was a different boy in tights a few weeks ago. He was taller and had thighs thicker than Michelangelo’s David.”

 

“I am Robin,” said Robin sternly.

 

“Oh, he must run through sidekicks faster than I run through…” Hyunjin stopped himself. “Nevermind.”

 

Even with a large mask obscuring half his face, Hyunjin could easily admit to himself that this new Robin was attractive.

 

But Hyunjin had daddy issues.

 

“I want Batman,” Hyunjin said. He pulled on the rope still wrapped around his wrist, leisurely testing its give.

 

“Well, you got me, Catz,” Robin replied, “and you can make this easy on yourself by coming with me to the station.”

 

Hyunjin pulled a bit harder on the rope, making Robin step forward to regain his footing. He was extremely new, Hyunjin figured. That one step was all he needed. Hyunjin said, “And you can make this easy on yourself by giving me Batman.”

 

“I can't do that.”

 

Of course. Hyunjin sighed. He should have known tonight would be a bust the second he realized that the big bat had only sent the little bird after him. “Disappointing. Now you'll have to explain this mess to the museum staff and your new pretend daddy.”

 

“What mess?” Robin demanded. His anger flared. Hyunjin was able to get a good look at his eyes. Even with the mask on, he got a feel for what his face looked like. Round cheeks. Thin lips. Yes, he _was_ attractive. Ivy liked this type. Pretty. Round where all of the sharp edges should be. But Ivy was also too far up Harls’s ass to be able to appreciate the shape of anyone else's.

 

“Now you see me.” Hyunjin wiggled his fingers, revealing that he'd just slipped free of the grappling rope.

 

Robin growled in irritation, retracting the grappling hook back into the device on his forearm. He was stepping forward to more directly apprehend the burglar but, by then, Hyunjin had already reared back and shattered the display glass with his fist. The alarm went off instantly, red lights flashing and buzzers sounding, distant doors rattling closed as the museum went on lock down.

 

“Now you don't,” Hyunjin screamed delightedly. In a blink, he was halfway out of the exhibit, the topaz brooch closed tight in his gloved fist.

 

Robin chased after him, but he never quite could get on Catz’s tail.

 


End file.
